Round 2! Fight!
This is the cute quilt my sister and her family made for me. 
Today I decided to wear this awesome tee I got from Brettany’s mom. I love it so much. SPACE! She even used some of the planets she cut from around the neck and sewed them to the back. it rules.
Also, my good friend Sue (Darla) sent me a pack of amazing tabi socks, and these are one of the pair:
I love these!
I got mixed news today. The BRACA tests all came pack negative. YAY! But that does make the future more complicated. Had it been positive, I would have walked straight into double mastectomy and then ovarian removal.
The tumor that is palpable is shrinking already. YAY!
The second tumor is cancer. It is the same cancer, but with zero hormone receptors.
This is where the more waiting and more thinking comes in. My onc. is meeting today with all the other onc.s to discuss my case today. Basically, they are not sure if they are connected, or separate entities, and depending on where things are at the end of chemo will affect was surgical route they recommend.
Part of me just wants to say “You know, I’ve used these babies for weapons for years, now they decided to self-destruct on me. Get them off!” but I know that kind of surgery is big. BIG. And reconstruction is also a lot to go through I were to choose to do so.
But a lumpectomy and radiation after presents its’ own set of issues. The chances of it coming back or appearing in the other breast or elsewhere are much higher. You can end up with a weirdly formed breast. Radiation is crazy.
When I go back in 2 weeks we will talk about all that again, and she will give me the opinions of everyone for me to think it all over.
Chemo went okay today. Chatted with a woman from Lubbock that was there with her daughter. She was really sweet and old fashioned. I love that she didn’t look at me weird for being tattooed with rainbow hair, she just sat next to me and we started talking about all kinds of things. It was nice, but makes me lament the fact these days, more people don’t have the same kind of manners she does. I mean, even if you don’t like someone’s look, why do you feel the need to say, look. or do anything to let them know? Its’ your problem, so you shouldn’t try to make it theirs. Anyhow, it was a long morning, and finding someone nice next to you is always a plus 🙂
The port access went much smoother today. I hardly felt it! That was nice. Elaine sent me home yesterday with these super healthy and yummy homemade muffins that really made my breakfast awesome. I didn’t even care that much that I left my coffee on the counter. They always have juice and snacks there if you need it.
I got home and was feeling pretty good. Made some lunch and messed about on the computer for a few hours before calling my mom with the news. Then I just got super tired- bam! So napping happened. 🙂 I got up a few hours later, found a free issue of Thrasher in the mail (score!) Our friend Derek was here visiting John, so while they were talking shop, I read through that and then the nausea hit. A little earlier than last time, but I took a pill they gave me for it and came in the bedroom to relax and write this out, and hope that I don’t puke. So far, so good!
Tomorrow, Shayne will be coming over to help me. Instead of cleaning, she will be partially braiding my hair so that I can cut it after I get off work, and wax the bases to save it for an art project we will be collaborating on. It is falling out too fast to ignore now, and I need to just do it so I don’t wake up with clumps on my pillow.
It has been 13 years and 80 pounds since I have been bald. I thought about shaving my head after I got all back into shape this year. It feels so great in the summer. I just didn’t expect to be doing this with all this weight. (Anyone else always hear Monty Python when they say “I didn’t expect” something?) It has taken me so long to grow my hair out. I hate being taught lessons about vices sometimes.
Luckily, I have wonderful friends that have been giving me some amazing scarves to wear, and Brettany’s mom had a few wigs that I might try on in case I feel like wearing one. I have found so many fun cosplay wigs and fun hats on Amazon- it is crazy! and I also bought myself a furry Tototro hat in case my head gets really cold.
Alright, signing off for the day. I am going to start reading the book I bought on fun scarf tying so I can look glamorous after tomorrow.
love y’all.
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