half-n-half
Sorry for the lack of updates, but there has not been too much going on. Just working and trying to get through this mess.
Brettany came and stayed with us last weekend. She spent most of the time at her dad’s as her niece was in town visiting, but she would come back to our place at night so we could hang out a little. Any B time I can get, I will take! Then John and I went to the big antique mall here and I found a metal magazine rack exactly like the one we had when I was a kid. Totally stoked about that, as it still looks almost new, and probably will for the next 60 years. Score!
AAANNNND I am at my half way point! YAY! very excited about that.
Good news: the tumor we could feel seems to be completely melted. She would not feel anything at all. Bad news: the tumor board finally got around to reviewing my case and it is clear that the second tumor deeper in is a completely separate entity. That means a mastectomy for me. She did mention that a skin-saving, and possibly nip-saving surgery may be possible since neither tumor was close to my skin. That would also mean that I probably would not have radiation, which would rule. At this point, I am not setting any expectations for anything. Until the chemo is done and I get the MRI and sit down with the surgical team, I am just going to try to keep hoping for the best, but not expecting anything specific. There are still just too many variables.
Having such an amazing pathological response is great though. It is crazy to actually feel the tumor shrink from the chemo. Science in action!!
Monday was my first taxol treatment. To be honest, it was a bit of a mess- as that is what I do best. 🙂
John got up at ass o’clock with me to make it to my appointment. I needed him there as I was unsure of how I would react to this chemo. They pump you full of benedryl to keep any possible allergic reactions to a minimum, as taxol can cause quite severe allergies in some people. Once the first 10-15 minutes pass, you know if you are going to react, so I let him head home for a nap while we proceeded. Good thing too, because even though I actually brought Star Wars to watch this time, I didn’t make it past Alderaan being blown up before I crashed out. My own snores woke me up, so I closed my computer and set it on the table next to my chair, and got up to go to the bathroom, and promptly pulled my chemo line right out. Luckily I had closed my computer, or the chemo would have gone alllll inside it!. As it was, my really loud “SHIT!!” had them running over, trying to keep my antihistamine doped self from trying to help them clean it up. One thing you really don’t want to do is get that stuff on your skin. So I just backed out of the way, went to pee, and came back and sat my butt down to wait for them to get back around to me and reconnect my port. Ouch. But, I was still so out of it, I just went back to sleep till my “done” alarm went off and I called John back to get me.
The rest of the day is kind of a blur. I don’t usually take any kind of allergy meds unless I am getting into bed, so that much of that stuff really made me loopy. I remember sleeping a good portion of the day. I think we went and had dinner that night, but am not 100% sure. Not having the steroids is kind of nice, but they did give me energy, which I am missing right about now.
Tuesday was good. I am working a different shift this week covering for my manager while he is on vacation, and 9am is very early for me. Most of the day was spent trying to figure out exactly how to do everything, and getting my bearings. Towards the end of the workday, my hands really started to hurt. They started swelling, and cracking a bit. By the end of the night I was slathering on a ton of Badger Balm and putting gloves on just to try to keep them hydrated.
Today they are just as bad. I did get an ice pack and spent a lot of my day holding on to it, and hen pecking my keyboard. Luckily my manager is very understanding of my situation, and knows that I am going to be having issues. I didn’t expect this though. Very unpleasant. And now just in the last hour or so, my bones have really started to hurt. I knew that might happen, but I can feel my teeth even. I have already taken my pain meds, and have to wait a few more hours till I can take more. This is really painful shit. Just walking to the bathroom is getting hard.
Still, I know that compared to so many others, I have it easy. I don’t have to go every day for chemo, or even every week. I have someone that cares for me here at home, and friends and family that are unbelievably supportive and helpful, and more love than I know what to do with. I count myself lucky even through my complaining, because I am.
I am looking forward to this weekend, as my BFF Erica will be coming to stay for a couple of days. We plan on taking a trip up to see Brettany and do some antique/junk browsing, and then some movie watching. Should be an awesome time! Let’s hope my bones settle down by then cause ain’t nobody got time for this!
I did want to share this with any other Star Trek nerds out there : http://www.sfgate.com/news/texas/article/Restored-Star-Trek-ship-Galileo-arrives-in-Houston-4698335.php#photo-4984140
And for those of you that sew and can’t seem to find good and affordable storage for your patterns: http://www.crafterella.com/2010/03/another-pattern-storage-idea.html This is such a great tip.
All right folks, that is it for me tonight. I am going to try to get some sleep. Wish me luck!
Posted in Uncategorized by Woodenleg with 2 comments.
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