bombs away!

Ok! so- good news is that my oncologist officially said ” You do not need radiation.” HOORAY!

The bad news is I have to take a hormone therapy drug for 10 years as one of the tumors had hormone receptors. WTF This shit just keeps getting better and better. And the side effects from this stuff are pretty amazing:

http://www.drugs.com/sfx/tamoxifen-side-effects.html

As if I don’t have enough shit to deal with. Why is big pharm so evil? Here! Take this  medicine that has a shit ton of side effects, some of which are other cancers.  Ya- that makes a lot of fucking sense.

Aaaand the pain meds are all gone and now I am just using ibuprofen.  It doesn’t really work. Needless to say, I am a grouchy cuss right now. The weight of the clothes that I am wearing actually hurt me. It’s crazy.  I’ve decided to try to use the lidocaine patches for my back to see if that can help ease the pain. Fingers crossed it starts to work a bit soon. I don’t like being grouchy or snapping at people when they don’t deserve it.

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day here in the US. My father served his country for 22 years in the Air Force, and another 20 years in Civil Service. All of that time was spent in maintenance and logistics on planes, mostly T-38s. I am very proud of him. I look up to him for many reasons, not the least of which is his work ethic. I unfortunately have most of his stubborn streak and have a tendency to bark orders at people like he does. He worked hard to provide for us and ensure our safety. For that, I will be eternally grateful.  I am also grateful to my mother, for she served this country just as long as he did. Never forget that the family of a service member also serves. They are part of the unit, and are subject to all of the same rules of conduct (um- i learned that one the hard way) and have to move and deal with deployments and TDYs and provide support to that service member every day.  If you live near a base, please see what kind of support you can offer to those families. They need it.

Tomorrow I will be calling the recon surgeon to start scheduling that set of surgeries and all of the appointments that go along with it. I will need to wait some time before I can do it as I am using all my sick and vacation time right now. That is one of the big reasons that I wanted to do it all at the same time- taking another 8 weeks off at a later date is going to be very hard.  Part of me is really annoyed that it did not happen since they wanted to be sure I did not need radiation, but my Onc. already said I did not need it, and I felt that I would not need it, so I am a little resentful of the situation right now.  I know I am probably repeating myself right now, but, I can’t help that.

This surgery has taught me a few things and has shown me that I need to do some very specific things for the next one that will be much more physically taxing and leave me more immobile and helpless than this one. Like- I will need a team of volunteers to come and do regular housework. I can’t do most of it, so it is not getting done regularly. And there are things set up in ways that I will def. be rearranging for next time for convenience sake. And I will be asking for stronger drugs for a longer time. I am not a huge fan of taking pills, but fuck if I am going to endure 5xs as much pain as I am in now without some serious painkillers.

So, on to more important things. There is a lot going on in the world right now. Close to home, the victims of the recent floods really need help. If you can help them, then please do.  http://www.kvue.com/news/Halloween-flood-recovery-efforts-230076351.htm

Farther away- the victims of Typhoon Haiyan are in dire straights. Here is a good guide to help   http://news.yahoo.com/how-to-help-donate-to-victims-of-super-typhoon-haiyan-195111618.html

We all have our own issues and troubles, but remember that someone always needs your help, and you should give it if you are able. Compassion should be your first reaction. That is what I strive to live by. It doesn’t always happen, but I try.

On that note- please be kind to those you meet on your daily grind tomorrow, and offer a smile where there isn’t one.

Love you

jeni

 

 

 

 


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