it’s been a long 10 days.
First- let me say that the molasses thing is still working perfectly. I am getting a little tired of the flavor, but that is a very tiny price to pay for comfort. I told my oncologist about it, and at first she looked at me like I was crazy, until I started explaining what info I found as far as nutrition went for it, then she seemed to accept my word. Not that she will likely tell her other patients about it, but if she even mentions it to one person and it helps them, I will have done a good deed.
On to news: The palpable tumor is really tiny. My onc. called it at 0.5cm, just because she can still feel something, but it is difficult. Feeling good about that! Other good news: once any kind of surgery is done, my port will come out (I was afraid they would want to leave it in.) And 2-3 weeks after my last chemo, I can start eating fresh fruit and vegetables!!! I am dreaming about salads at this point. I will probably wait the full 3 weeks, and of course only eat things prepped at home for a while, but just knowing that there will be fresh greens and tomatoes in my future brings me joy.
I got in to see my real GP, and had a great talk with her about everything that has been happening. She told me she was really happy with the choice I made for my treatment center, as many of her patients that have gone there have had much success, and the care they have been given has been stellar. I can agree with that assessment so far. She also finally got all my medications worked out, and now I can stop having the occasional panic attack. Normally, I don’t have them. But being diagnosed with/in treatment for a potentially fatal disease can really cause you to freak the fuck out at times. I need to be able to stay calm and focus on getting better, and not dwell on what might happen. I also need to sleep in order to let my body heal.
This time around, my neuropathy has been minimal, but for the first time I had some real nausea. All day on 7/15 after chemo I was just not right. I took my meds, nothing helped. I never actually got sick, but man, just opening my eyes was rough. I am so thankful that it has not been a part of my experience like so many other people. I’ll take the stupid hunger and the crappy Eddie Money song in my head all day over being nauseous, thank you very much!
My next chemo will be the switch to Taxol. I have no idea how I will react to that, and am trying to not worry too much. Good thing is that I won’t have to have the Neulasta injections anymore, and can stop obsessing over my spleen. 🙂 Neuropathy can be a real issue, and I am hoping that it stays minimal, as I would like to get through this in the shortest amount of time possible. Any serious issues with it will turn my 8 week treatment to at least 16. Obviously I would rather not have to do it that long, but I also don’t want any permanent damage.
Shayne came by and we decided on a design plan for our art project. I am very excited, and hope that it comes together nicely. She is an amazing artist, and to be able to collaborate with her on something so personal is really important to me. She is busy working hard (as she always does on everything) on Tabitha’s benefit http://erennie.wix.com/tynkerhelp which is coming up real soon! Check out the auction items! Really amazing things have come in from some extraordinary artists and local businesses. You really don’t want to miss out on the show.
I do have some sad news to impart. Brettany had to let Mr Kink go on Thursday. His tumor had begun to interfere with his elimination, and his quality of life was about to start to suffer. That is not something anyone wants for our loved ones. I loved Kinky as my own, and was lucky enough to get to care for him while she was in England. I learned a lot from him, and will miss him dearly. He was a character for sure, and such a sweet cat. I am glad that I was able to love him while he was with me, and that I was able to keep him going so that he was still here when Bret came home. His last year was a very happy one, fully of love from his momma. Some of you may not understand, but for those of us that don’t have human kids, our furry ones are just as important. They may not be able to talk to us, but they express love in ways that makes it clear that it is unconditional. A cat may have attitude, but they are more honest and loving than 99% of the humans on this planet will be to you. His sweet puddy tat face will always make me smile.
I want to end this post by sharing a very moving video. Shayne’s fella Johnny shared it with me. It is truly inspiring, and i will warn you, it may make you cry, but for good reasons. I am not a sports fan (except baseball) and didn’t know a thing about this man until I watched this, then started to look into his legacy. These are words you can take to heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuoVM9nm42E
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