{"id":319,"date":"2013-11-26T21:39:24","date_gmt":"2013-11-27T03:39:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/?p=319"},"modified":"2013-11-28T23:18:08","modified_gmt":"2013-11-29T05:18:08","slug":"thanks-and-giving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/thanks-and-giving\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanks and Giving."},"content":{"rendered":"

Let me start out by saying I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS! but I cry pretty much nonstop from October to January.<\/p>\n

I was lucky enough to have a wonderful family to celebrate them all with. Not that we don’t have our dysfunction, we absolutely do. It is just that as a child I did not see it that way. And I am a sentimentalist, so I look at the past through rainbow glasses. I had a marvelous childhood as far as I can recall. Holidays we extra special, with all the extended family getting together at my Nanny and Papa’s house (when we were all in the same country and state.)<\/p>\n

Halloween was great- mom made us costumes that were always fun. She made most of our clothes as children, and costumes were no exception. She was so creative and really worked hard to make them the best they could be. We went trick or treating every year, usually with Dad. And then of course the “fee’ had to be paid to our escort. That usually meant we lost several of the good chocolates, but we didn’t care. It was all part of the fun.<\/p>\n

When Thanksgiving rolled around, we would all get together and stuff ourselves silly. When we were here in the states, we would be at Nanny and Papa’s. After dinner all the men would sit and watch football (as usual.) We helped clear the table, then would either sit and listen to the ladies gab while washing dishes, play with the toys N&P had, or if the weather was nice enough we would go out to the backyard and play. nanny made the best mashed potatoes in the world. They usually were 90% of my meal. Then 9% canned cranberry, and a sliver of turkey. (I started my vegetarianism early.) Sometimes some green beans would make it on the plate too.\u00a0 We’d stay till the evening, then have a piece of each pie, waddle out to the car, and head home. I don’t know how my dad always got us all the way home without falling asleep at the wheel! It was a 30-45 minute drive. My sister and I would usually pass out long before we got near home.<\/p>\n

Then that weekend we would start decorating for Christmas. Dad would get up in the attic and drag it all down, then set the tree up and put the lights on. Then we would start carefully unwrapping each ornament from the paper it was in and placing them on the tree. Dad would be putting the lights on the house while we did all the inside. I still love having all the ornamentation up on my birthday (it is in December) even though some people thought it was okay to combine my bday and xmas gifts. ( Just an FYI- that is not okay. Don’t do that to any relative, friend, or lover. It is bad enough that we don’t get to have cool pool parties or the like for our bdays. Even if it is just a pack of gun- make them separate.) **edit-\u00a0 i just noticed my Freudian slip here. I meant to say gum. But if you feel like buying me a gun, I am okay with that too :)***\u00a0 Anyhow- my bdays were always great and I always felt like all the lights and sparkle were just for me. I loved it when we would drive anywhere during December in the evening as I would get to see all the beautiful lights on everyone’s homes. And on the base they would put up this HUGE light tree in the center of the traffic circle. It was magical.<\/p>\n

Then Christmas would come! When we lived in Spain, it was hard to be away from all the family, but we had a wonderful community there. Everyone would get together and make yearly decorations and have parties with Santa and it was just grand. The family would mail our gifts over, and the package would always include a tape that had everyone on it. We didn’t have a phone, and this was the way would would get to hear everyone. Once we got back stateside, on xmas eve we would go to N&P’s for 6 o’clock mass, then back to their house for tamales, queso, cookies, and tons of other goodies. Then we’d have to take a million photos. You know the drill: one of all the kids, the kids with their parents, then with N&P, then with each aunt and uncle set, then all the couples, then N&P with their girls, and every configuration imaginable. Then and only then were we allowed to get to the\u00a0 PRESENTS! We’d listen to holiday tunes on the old radio, and all gather in the living room to open them up. Each year one of the kids got to be “Santa” and pass out all the gifts, then we’d all take turns opening one gift at time, or sometimes each person would open all of their gifts at once. We all had our usual seats, with the occasional squabble over a special chair or ottoman. Then we’d clean up all the wrapping, eat some more junkfood, and head home.<\/p>\n

At our house, we would set all our gifts up around the tree, then open a gifts with the immediate family. Then it was off to bed before Santa came! Xmas morning we always fun for us kids. We may not have been rich, but our parents always made sure we had a very generous Santa. Mom wold make a simple breakfast, or we’d have donuts. Then we’d head back to N&P’s for lunch. Another stuffyourface fest. It was the same schedule as Thanksgiving. Food, football (or some sport), then pie.<\/p>\n

As we became teenagers, things changed a little, but not much. My attitude changed, and I was of course a butt about things. But over all, it was still lovely all the way around.<\/p>\n

I didn’t really appreciate it all until my Papa died a few days before Christmas in 1994. I was wrapped up in my own dramas, and had my wisdom teeth removed a week or 2 before that. I didn’t notice how serious the situation was, and didn’t spend the time I should have with him. I will regret that for the rest of my life. Anyhow, I can tell you that I never smoked so many cigarettes in my life as I did the few days before\u00a0 and after he died. Talk about a shitty Christmas. I honestly can’t even recall what we did that year. I just remember crying, and not being able to stop.<\/p>\n

I didn’t learn my lessen from that though, and failed time and again to spend the time I should have with the people that I really loved, and that loved me. Instead I worked all the time and constantly let my terrible romances get in the way of the people that mattered. It breaks my heart again and again to think that I could have been there more for N&P, or my Aunt Rubie, and I wasn’t because I was a selfish ass.<\/p>\n

When my Nanny was dying, I made sure to spend time with her, and was with her when she left. She had been lingering for weeks, and they finally put her in hospice care.\u00a0 The night she died, I decided to stay with her. They had a little couch that was light enough to move, so I put it right next to her bed and held her hand all evening. I had the TV on, and was up quite late. When I finally started to get sleepy, I switched off the tv and still was holding her hand. She was snoring\/wheezing and had been for over a week as she was pretty much in a coma. I looked at her and she just seemed so tired, even though she was sleeping. I finally dropped off and at some point let go of her hand. I think that is when she left. She waited until I was really asleep to go. I wasn’t asleep long though- the silence woke me right up. I sat with her a while before calling the nurse in and calling the family. I hugged her and stroked her hair before I took a lock of it to have to one day make some mourning jewelry with for me and my sister. (I am still looking for someone to make it- if you know anyone that produces quality mourning jewelry, please let me know.)\u00a0 I am glad I got to be with her when she passed. I hope she knew I was there.<\/p>\n

The good memories and the loss- that is why I cry for 3 the last 3 months of the year. And the fact that, while my job is great and has enabled me to get treatment for my stupid cancer, it robs me of every holiday that does not happen to coincide with my normal day off. It is a great company to work for, except for their insane view that the lines must be staffed for every holiday no matter what. Like people can’t wait a day or 2 to update their software. It’s ridiculous. And don’t even get me started on these retailers that think it is okay to be open on the holidays. I will never shop at any of their stores ever again. No one needs to buy shit on Thanksgiving day. They can wait to do their shopping on the following morning. Anyone that goes to those stores on TGD- I want you to know that you are a piece of shit. Stay home and spend the day with your family. If you don’t have a family, then stay home anyway and make yourself an awesome dinner, or better yet, go volunteer somewhere for the day.\u00a0 There are plenty of soup lines and animal shelters that need a hand. Don’t participate in this insane greed.<\/p>\n

But I digress.<\/p>\n

Here is what I am thankful for:<\/p>\n

My family and their love. The memories they gave me as a child. The fact that we always had food on the table and gifts for one another. The fact that I have a job and a wonderful boyfriend that, while he may not want to participate in all the holiday hoopla, doesn’t begrudge me time with my family and only complains a little about all the decorations I put up. My wonderful friends. My furry babies. The fact that my biopsies came back clear after my mastectomy. My home. Everything and everyone around me. My life.<\/p>\n

I hope that you have some good memories from your childhood, or that you are willing to make them as an adult.<\/p>\n

The holidays can be rough. If you have the ability, volunteer somewhere, and donate money to those less fortunate. Be thankful that you have a warm bed and food in your belly, and that even if you have health issues, you are alive to complain about them.<\/p>\n

And remember that I love you.<\/p>\n

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Let me start out by saying I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS! but I cry pretty much nonstop from October to January. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful family to celebrate them all with. Not that we don’t have our dysfunction, we absolutely do. It is just that as a child I did not see it that way. And I am a sentimentalist, so I look at the past through rainbow glasses. I had a marvelous childhood as far as I can recall. Holidays we extra special, with all the extended family getting together at my Nanny and Papa’s house (when we were all in the same country and state.) Halloween was great- mom made us costumes that were always fun. She made most of our clothes as children, and costumes were no exception. She was so creative and really worked hard to make them the best they could be. We went trick or treating every year, usually with Dad. And then of course the “fee’ had to be paid to our escort. That usually meant we lost several of the good chocolates, but we didn’t care. It was all part of the fun. When Thanksgiving rolled around, we would all get together and stuff ourselves silly. When we were here in the states, we would be at Nanny and Papa’s. After dinner all the men would sit and watch football (as usual.) We helped clear the table, then would either sit and listen to the ladies gab while washing Continue Reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=319"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":339,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319\/revisions\/339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}