Hi all!<\/p>\n
Just wanted to let you know that overall, I am doing okay.<\/p>\n
I am very, very tired. And still have crazy heartburn. I did call my oncologist and she called in a RX for a reflux med that I can pick up tomorrow. YAY! \u00a0I don’t know how people live with that all the time. They are truly amazing.<\/p>\n
Emotionally, things are still really hard for me. I keep waking up thinking “maybe that didn’t really happen” and then the realization that it is all too real and I am in treatment for breast cancer hits me like a ton of bricks. I’ve never had any serious illnesses before, so this is just surreal.<\/p>\n
Trying to stay positive really isn’t easy. I need to find some coping skills, and am trying to find a support group that my schedule works with. My schedule is great as it makes appointments a little easier so I don’t have to miss as much work, but working till 1030 every night doesn’t make socializing or anything else convenient.<\/p>\n
Day 7 is the day my white blood cell counts are supposed to start falling. It is difficult to determine if I am getting sick, just having bad allergies, or if it is just general “meh” \u00a0from the chemo. Same with all the abdominal discomfort. Is my spleen swollen, or is that just gas? o.0 \u00a0 Unless you spend 90% of your time in a scanner, I’m not sure you can really tell.<\/p>\n
If only we could get some real Star Trek tech working! Transporters and replicators would completely rid the planet of so many illnesses. Just beam all that flipping cancer right outta ya! Need a new kidney? Let me order one up and get that in there! \u00a0 If wishes were fishes, I’d have a lot of fucking fish right now.<\/p>\n
I went Friday to have my port looked at- got the thumbs up from the surgeon. He really did a nice job, and did not cause too much damage to my tattoo. Hopefully when it comes out it will be as nice. While I was there I asked about my MRI biopsy results, and Super Nurse Jennifer said they had the results, but the Dr. had not gone over it yet. She asked if I wanted to wait for him as he just walked in, and I said sure. So after a while, he came by and basically just told me that he had to go over it with pathology before he could tell me anything. So I left with no news, and am probably going to just hear about it next Monday with my next oncology\/chemo appointment. The genetic testing is also not in yet. Those jerks take their sweet time and I hate that they have such a racket on it. Medicine should never be about money.<\/p>\n
Norbert keeps going to the bathroom in the house. He knows how to use the dog door, we tell him to go out, he goes out. He uses it all day long on his own. Then I’ll turn around and he’s pooped somewhere or I get up in the morning and there is both 1&2 in the study, right next to his bed. We thought that the dog door would fix this, but apparently he has not yet correlated the door with going outside when he needs to do his bidnezz. If anyone has any tips on that, please let me know. I don’t like being mad at him, but I am not allowed to pick up his messes any more. John is cool about picking it up, but we have to figure out how to get him to stop.<\/p>\n
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Just a mo’- Russel Brand is on Letterman. mmmmmmmmmmmmm so delicious.<\/p>\n
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Yesterday John was working on his woodshop, and I did a little housework. It was nice to get something done. We went and had food at 620 Cafe. Not sure if that was the best idea, but that grilled cheese and the fried zucchini was yummy. Having to lay down after emptying the dishwasher is a little humbling.<\/p>\n
Today we went to have Greek food at Zorba’s. I ate my soup and a little hummus, and brought home the rest. We also went to the store to get a few needed items. \u00a0Doing all that at once was not easy, and while at the store I got really hot and weird for a moment. The way your body is not the same anymore in such a short time is bizarre.<\/p>\n
I know that it will never be the same body I had a month ago, and that my identification with it will not be the same. My plans for starting workouts and getting back in shape are not on hold, but very different. Since I did not really work out before, figuring out how to get active now is not easy. And I know once I get all the other test info back, it will probably change my plans again.<\/p>\n
I’ll be honest- living with uncertainty has never been something I am good at. Not knowing exactly what time someone wants to meet for lunch gives me anxiety. I envy people that are able to just live and go and do without over thinking every detail. Which brings us full circle to – I need to learn some coping skills and find a support group that can help me with all this.<\/p>\n
Tomorrow will be spent working and doing that and trying to get some animals bathed, then a visit from Brandi and Muriah! Roundies activate!<\/p>\n
Good night everyone. <3<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi all! Just wanted to let you know that overall, I am doing okay. I am very, very tired. And still have crazy heartburn. I did call my oncologist and she called in a RX for a reflux med that I can pick up tomorrow. YAY! \u00a0I don’t know how people live with that all the time. They are truly amazing. Emotionally, things are still really hard for me. I keep waking up thinking “maybe that didn’t really happen” and then the realization that it is all too real and I am in treatment for breast cancer hits me like a ton of bricks. I’ve never had any serious illnesses before, so this is just surreal. Trying to stay positive really isn’t easy. I need to find some coping skills, and am trying to find a support group that my schedule works with. My schedule is great as it makes appointments a little easier so I don’t have to miss as much work, but working till 1030 every night doesn’t make socializing or anything else convenient. Day 7 is the day my white blood cell counts are supposed to start falling. It is difficult to determine if I am getting sick, just having bad allergies, or if it is just general “meh” \u00a0from the chemo. Same with all the abdominal discomfort. Is my spleen swollen, or is that just gas? o.0 \u00a0 Unless you spend 90% of your time in a scanner, I’m not sure you can really tell. If Continue Reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=72"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":73,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions\/73"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=72"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=72"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.super-crush.com\/blahblahblah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=72"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}